


About the Same Amount

by CrimsonWriter



Category: NCIS
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen, maybe au, story is a result of author being exasperated at fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-01-30 03:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12645351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonWriter/pseuds/CrimsonWriter
Summary: (Of Egos and Brains) "Gibbs, your team is an impossibility. I can't even see how they manage to get the bad guy without killing each other off first." –VancePublished: 11/19/2017 (mm/dd/yyyy)





	About the Same Amount

Authority figures and Gibbs had never gotten along. This was why Gibbs held a certain amount of apprehension and exasperation at the new Director. Per usual for him, he simply walked into the Director's office, disregarding the secretary's protests.

"Agent Gibbs," Director Leon Vance said, surprise and exasperation in his voice. "Come in, why don't you?"

"Thanks for the invite," Gibbs retorted, equally sarcastic.

Vance leaned back into his chair, gesturing to the guest chair and began talking without waiting for his subordinate to get comfortable. "I will say that I've ultimately decided to let matters lie before I say anything else. I will also say that upon reading your team's files, my first instinct was to pull you apart and ship you off to opposite corners of the country."

Ice-blue eyes almost widened.

"I will say this as tactfully as I possibly can," Vance continued. "Gibbs, your team is an impossibility. I can't even see how they manage to get the bad guy without killing each other off first, let alone having the highest detain—by death or by arrest—record that the agency has ever seen. Your team has about the same amount of egos and brains—a little more brains in McGee, a little more ego in DiNozzo, and a small side-order of crazy in David."

"Director—"

"I'm not done yet, Special Agent Gibbs," Vance said mildly, chewing on his toothpick absently. "And do remember that I'm not splitting you up. I almost did after watching your team bicker almost endlessly. It gave me a goddamn headache because I was trying to see if McGee was being bullied by DiNozzo, if DiNozzo was sexually harassing David, or if David was simply going to pin DiNozzo to his chair like a butterfly after a couple too many lewd comments. Then I realized that McGee and David liked to tag-team DiNozzo with increasingly incomprehensible and lengthy sentences, that David and DiNozzo both poke and prod McGee about his writing and prowess with computers, and that McGee and DiNozzo somehow are able to reign in David when she goes on a warpath—verbally _or_ physically."

He fell silent for a moment, thinking. "I'm just going to stick with my first statement: Gibbs, your team is an impossibility. I don't know how you found these three, or how they put up with each other _and_ yourself, but I'm going to let sleeping dragons lie."

Gibbs actually smirked. "Thank you, sir."

"But Gibbs," Vance cautioned, "if they fall apart…I _will_ be shipping them off to opposite ends of the country."

The Gunnery Sargent was already at the door, a cheeky wave flying by. "No worries, Director!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, people! I'm currently working on an Avengers story that involves an extensive road trip--and like any good road trip, it involves places, music, food, and history. If you feel like it, would you guys mind leaving a review with a popular radio station in your area, a local restaurant that you swear by, a local monument or museum, street artists that you remember since forever, or bits of history that most people outside of your area don't know? Thanks!
> 
> This was kind of inspired by how much fandom controversy surrounded the characters. Everyone seems to have picked favorites—okay, understood—but then decided to villainize the ones that they either didn't like or simply weren't in their favorites. Me…well, I look at the series as a whole, and I think that each of them give as good as they get. They all have their problem episodes. It would be interesting to go back through all of them from Day 1 and keep tally of the jibes, barbs, disciplinary action upon one when it was really the other, life-threatening situation caused by another, or even almost crazed revenge. I think McGee is the only one of the team that hasn't gone out and hunted someone down with the intention of killing them.
> 
> Oh wait. Somalia and him and Tony and Gibbs hunting down Saleem for killing Ziva—who turns out to be alive. Yeah, McGee has that episode too.


End file.
